Episode 15 Jen Marples

Pam and Ally get the privilege of meeting with Jen Marples a woman breaking down the stigma of midlife and Champion of Midlife Women, she is a Podcaster, Speaker, and Coach.  She started podcasting over 2 years ago to get the attention of all midlife women to help them understand that we are not too fucking old!  Jen’s podcast is an excellent resource for midlife women who want to feel empowered and inspired. She shares her experiences as a woman in midlife and offers advice on how to navigate the challenges that come with it. Her message is one of hope, encouragement, and positivity. If you’re looking for inspiration and motivation, then Jen Marbles is the perfect person to turn to.

www.wearemorethanmenopause.com

Transcript

Allison Kenney: 0:03

Hi, Pam!

Pam Shipley: 0:04

Hi Ali! Welcome to!

Allison Kenney: 0:08

We are like to welcome our guest.

Pam Shipley: 0:14

Jen marbles.

Allison Kenney: 0:16

hey, Jen, we are so glad to have you so a little bit of background on our famous guest speaker, Jen Marbles. Today she is one of the leading female midlife Podcasters that we have been following for about a year now. So we when we started into this whole area. I started listening to you, and then we met at a conference, and it was like. a celebrity to me. I was like, Oh, my God, marvel I was. Yeah, I was just absolutely a fan girl. So and then we sat down. We talked with her, and we had dinner with her. And not only is she just fabulous on her podcast. And so inviting. She wasn't person, too so, and she's become our friend. So I told, we've told our listeners that we have some really, really inspirational, powerful women friends that we we get to hang out with, and this is one of them. So welcome. Jen. I wanted to give a little bio about Jen. Jen is a champion of midlife women? She's a cheerleader for all women, not just us, but for everyone. She's an entrepreneur. She's a motivational speaker. She's a Podcaster. She's a business coach, and she's a leader in the midlife, women's empowerment movement. She puts midlife women first and preaches. And this is the title of our podcast and I love it. You are not to Ethan. fucking old to do whatever F you want. And we are so excited to have Jen here today. Thank you, Jen.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 2:18

Well, thank you, ladies, for being here, and thanks for sharing our story. I think one of the the most beautiful benefits, or like side effects of kind, of getting into this whole realm of podcasting and women's empowerment and coaching. And you know the menopause revolution is meeting beautiful women such as yourselves, that are. We're all collectively on this mission to help women lead the most amazing robust mid lives and beyond. And I didn't know. Starting this out, my whole thing that I'm doing 2 years ago, that I was gonna basically form hundreds of new, beautiful, lovely, exciting, fabulous and nurturing and sustaining friendships. And to me, that's that's why we're put on this earth, too. Right is just to love each other and support each other and be together. And that wasn't part of the business plan, and that was a beautiful gift. So I'm glad that you shared with everyone that that's how we met, because it's gonna get into a little bit of our discussion today. I know about

Pam Shipley: 3:15

having the courage to kind of step out of your comfort zone to try new things, and on the other side of that is meeting wonderful. And like you, like you guys connecting us with other women, too, which I think is one of the one of the gifts. But before we even go there, Jen, could you tell us a little bit about your story and your mid life pivot, because I think that our listeners really wanna just get a glimpse into your life and what it took to for you to have the courage to be where you are standing and championing, championing all of us today.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 3:51

Absolutely so, and I'm Jen Marples, and I am proudly 53. So I am. I wasn't always shouting my age from the rooftops, and it's important to note, so I always like to say I'm 53. I'll be 54 in a few months I used to own a Pr. Firm in San Francisco. I did Pr in marketing exclusively for over 25 years, and it was great. wonderful, successful business, but in the midst of you know, growing my business, I like to joke. My waistline was expanding as my company was expanding, because in the span of 3 years I popped out. or in the span of 2 years, I should say, popped out 3 kids who are now 1616 and 18. So we all, you know, anyone listening with kids. And back in the day like life was crazy. There was no perspective. It's just, you know, getting through every single minute of every single day. It was all triage. and so you have to do it. 100%, too. Oh, yeah, cause we were told anything else. No, you have to do 100 for everything right? It was like, you're running a business. You're responsible for people at work, your clients, your employees, and you're married. You've got kids. I was involved in charities all the thing, you know, doing all the things, and added 3 kids to the mix, and we were all told

Pam Shipley: 5:07

that we could do that. Well, we were. We were. I always say we were fucked when we were told that you can have it all because you can't have it all and have it all done well, well, something has to suffer for you.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 5:24

So the big thing that suffered for me was my health. And so the very condensed cliff's notes version is popped out. 3 kids. And I was actually just talking to another fellow business owner who's the same as me, like II wasn't taking 6 months off of work. I was running a Pr. Firmly to crisis communications for companies like whole foods. I could barely squeeze out those 6 weeks of I and I was still connected to work, but I was actually physically at home and couldn't go into the office and but again, it's like living that thing we we didn't, you know. We weren't told that we could, you know, sit, you could do it all you could. Wha what like? It's hard. It's like your breastfeeding and like answering emails and this and that. And meanwhile I probably a postpartum depression, and like throwing cans of formula at my husband's head like it was a shit show. It was just a shit show back in the day. But how? How the stress really presented. And this is you you you ladies will relate, and everyone listening the perfectionism. And like you feel like you're failing because you've added a thousand things on your plate, and you're like, Wait, why can't I do all these things really well? And there was no handbook for parenting, and even we had the what to expect when you're expecting there was no book for like what to expect when you're running a business, and you have 3 kids in diapers. Your husband's also an entrepreneur. You live in the city, your family's not nearby, and blah blah blah blah blah! There was no book, and we were too tired to read that book, if it even existed, because we were living on going on fumes. So it really presented for me with health challenges like I was so stressed that I was clenching my teeth when I was sleeping. I'd crack through 4 crowns. I'd wake up with my fists in a ball. I was losing feeling in my fingers and toes. I was like tripping, walking down the hall, and I was just like, Oh, this is. I'll step. This is, this is no big deal. And I was like going and going and pushing through and pushing through and until I couldn't push through anymore. And this is, I'm making a very, very long story short, I I quickly realized, once we moved across the bridge just from San Francisco, up into the suburbs, that I was falling apart, and I was taking that out on my family. Everybody in my external world, my clients and all that my employees like. They all got the best of me in my internal world. All my people were getting the absolute worst of me. It's not a place that I was proud of, and being. I give myself compassion because I didn't have any tools. You know all of us were doing the best that we could do what we had? And did you ask anyone for help? Did you like? What did you do when you've felt like you were falling apart. I didn't ask for help early on I I asked. I actually was forced into it. I should say I was forced into it. I I was met with a total breakdown, basically. So I was at a place where I couldn't put Humpty back together again by myself. So my husband and I had a talk, and we had sold. Our place in the city is we have a little bit of financial resources for me to to step back. But then we're gonna get into sort of pivoting. It's really hard to pull away from something that you've been doing for 25 years I was making good money. It was responsible for other people got 3 amounts to feed, and you know I live in a very expensive place. So to kind of walk away from. That is very scary. And we we decided as a team. So this is basically like a health crisis. It was. we couldn't keep going on. II couldn't keep going on like that. I didn't want to be the person who's yelling and screaming at my children because I was just. I was. I was done. I was fried. I was completely burned out. As it turns out, I didn't actually know I was burned out like II realized later, in talking to therapists and doctors like you're completely fried. All my pistons were fried because I never took that time off, for the kids had a very stressful business, very stressful type of work and 3 babies. And I joke. It's like that thing. And legally blonde, like what like, it's hard.

Allison Kenney: 9:31

perfect storm is pretty freaking hard, having 3 kids diapers and running it, running a business and actually, I'm glad you brought that up, because at the time. Remember, we're kind of like, really in it. When the kids were gone.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 9:50

I told my husband I said we had a strong marriage going in. I said, we're in this very somehow I have the wherewithal to say, this is so. We're this very condensed, very sort of acute time period, where everything's crazy. And we're just really trying to get through every minute of every day. Let's not worry about a relationship and date nights. And this and again, that's all that external messaging like you should be fit loses 50 min again all the bullshit. It's not real and just makes women feel bad. So let's park our relationship just on the shelf for a hot minute like we came in strong. Let's just we're like in a crisis. And the crisis is 3 3 babies, and let's just deal with that, and we'll get back to this. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but I said we needed to take one layer of stress off focus on this like, we gotta work. We gotta make money. We gotta take care of these kids like, let's just try to keep it simple. So that was like when they were younger, but fast forward to sort of. When we moved across the bridge and started, I started peeling back the layers. And I thought, alright, this feels like the right thing to do, because I need to breathe. I've been working since I was like 16, like, it's okay to take a moment. Right? It's okay to take a break. But I felt I felt like a failure, and most women feel like a failure that you can't do at all, because again, we weren't shown any other way or taught to question how we were doing things. And so that's when I did surrender, and I said, I do need help. I had a therapist I was working with from years before, so I tapped into her. I kinda did everything went to like, did immersed myself in Yoga, did yoga retreats? I had to see a natural path. I went into my my doctor because also throughout this this paramount I didn't know at the time, so adding a layer of hormonal instability. And then there was like this ego death with like the business, and then I was burned out. Turns out I had adrenal fatigue. I was severely anemic. I had almost no iron stores. I would see stars when I would, you know, stand up from sitting down. I'm like, it's just working monster. Actually, my body was screaming like you have to stop. And I'm a very energetic person like I knew from the outside like, this isn't right like back in that time period. If I went to lunch with you guys, I would have needed to come home. Take a 3 h nap.

Pam Shipley: 12:10

So you had all of these signals that were sending you messages. You were just putting them in your your trash box in your right. So you just didn't listen to any of the signals

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 12:23

didn't ignore, nor until I couldn't more. And it was impacting my relationships. It was impacting. My marriage is impacting my kids. And the kids are the ones, you know, if they really think about it quite many tears about it, but again I have to give myself grace. She did the best she could she had back in the day, and so like, I said. I threw myself into getting help, and it's it's hard you can't do this alone. I had no perspective, and I'm such a giving person that I was still listening to people's problems and helping friends through their divorces in this and that. Actually, when I therapist actually asked me, she's like Jen, who's listening to you. And I thought about it. I'm like

Allison Kenney: 13:04

no one.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 13:05

I was completely drained. So I and really focus on me. And like putting Humpty back together. So I had to get my health and check, and that was like a whole journey of supplements, and like reducing stress and Yoga and the whole, I remember my natural path, and God bless her! She said she was really the one who started actually talking to me about menopause. It wasn't my primary doctor, and she kind of explained what was going on. It's just like we just need to stabilize like we need to just get you kind of stabilized, and I it in the whole menopause things and journey. And that's probably. But I really appreciate her for saying that because we all think we're going crazy. I'm like, what is actually happening to me right now and then, it was explained, actually, what happens in our bodies. And there's this confluence. I have young kids. I'm running a business, you know. There's all this stuff happening. Any one of those factors can be contributing to stress. And it's like this perfect storm. But I remember a move, all kids getting into new schools and then having managing 3 kids on top of a a career. All of that. And it was like, Oh, good God in heaven and so I'm deeply grateful for that support, and I'm also glad I was able to afford that support. Because I know for so many women they don't have the resources. And that's why I know the 3 of us so passionate about education and trying to get as much free information out there and resources or affordable solutions for folks. That's another thing we gotta fix in this country is just the access to to appropriate healthcare and information, because at least I had that

Pam Shipley: 14:43

I have the money to be able to do it, and not everybody does, and the the understanding of where to go, to ask the people the questions, because that's also the problem is that where, first of all, we don't know what questions to ask, but we also don't know who'd ask, because there are all of these physicians that we trust, and we think they have the answers right, but they don't, because they're not trained. and that's a whole failure of our system. And that's a whole nother topic. But can I just ask for a second you started this healing process? Right? You recognize or we're told, that we have to address this right? So from the time that you started seeking help. how long has it? Has that process been that journey?

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 15:33

That was? I'm gonna say.

Allison Kenney: 15:37

it's been probably almost 10 years. and that's still a journey, isn't it? It's it doesn't go away. Not. It's not a done.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 15:46

Yeah, it's on a straight line. Remember, you know, that we've all heard that like healing is not a straight line and and with women we go through. And I've had guests on my podcast talking about the the perimenopause thing is different than menopause. And then post menopause and everything you're going through. And then just course, different life changes that we all have external factors, aging parents and kids and jobs and all this other stuff that there isn't kind of this straight line, but the cycle. And and we're in different seasons. And it's like seasons change like based on what's going on with, you know. I just, you know, found out a dear, dear friend of mine. Her son was like, almost suicidal, so of course, her season changed. Really quick, like you circle the wagons really quick when you have. And sadly, you know, we know teen anxieties very high. So that's affecting so many of us mid life women, we're we're worried about our teens. So that's gonna put things in perspective really quick. You're gonna circle the wagons and be in season. So I always like to tell everyone there isn't this straight line once you kinda hit one plateau. And I do know, talking to so many menopause experts, too, that one year is going to be so different than the next year, and I'm post menopausal like. I haven't had a period since I was 50, and just from talking to the healthcare experts, I trust that first year is going to be different than the second year. So what? So what I'm experiencing now was experiencing before. It's a completely different journey. and so I'm so glad you guys are doing what you're doing because we need all the information, the tools. It's not one size fits all. It's not once once, then, this might fit today. But it's not gonna fit what you're gonna be in 6 months. And so the more we talk about it and share. I mean, that's the biggest thing. That's why you guys, I know why you started your platform. And why have mine is

Pam Shipley: 17:26

access to information. And knowing that we're all in this together and that it's it's it's it's a group. It's like a hive mind type thing that we've got to help each other. We've got to talk about it. We've got to talk about all this stuff. So I know we went a little off topic about the pivot. But no, this is all. This is exactly what it's about. It's about the pivot.

Allison Kenney: 17:44

and it continues to pivot, though that's the part that is important to allow ourselves to have that grace that you're gonna we're gonna continue to pivot. And that's why we have to continually look for new education for ourselves. Because, you know. last year I was really interested in and trying to understand my body and my hormones and stuff like that. But this year it's now more strength exercising and nutrition. It doesn't happen all at once. It just happens a little bit at a time, so we can gain it. And that's why we have to share all of this information. And there's so much of it. If there's so much of this information. It's it's not just

Pam Shipley: 18:31

want it done. And it takes courage really to start looking for the answers. It's it's, you know, it's not easy to fit in our discomfort. But it's easier than because, like the double, you know, versus the double, you don't right. So it's much easier to sit in our own discomfort that we are aware of rather than make shifts and changes to what we aren't aware of what we don't know, and so, getting out of our comfort zone is very uncomfortable, very hard. And II know that you had to do that, and that you are championing that for other women.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 19:10

Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up because 2 things having courage to speak up and speak out and seek help. It's it's really big having courage and anything in life. If you're starting a business, if you need new friends, if you need new resources, you know something's not quite right. Just have that courage to make that one phone call. Send that text to a friend, just check in on something, explore something, because everything you want is on the other side of taking a first step in any realm. If it's nutrition, if it's a business, if it's losing weight like whatever it is, you've gotta just go. And the other thing you said, it's just really important. I just replayed A, a popular podcast about this is. we've got to take radical responsibility for our lives. And so you know this, Pam, you just said this, your therapist that the buck stops with us. The good news is we can change. If we got ourselves into whatever situation we are, or we're just in a state of paralysis. We can get ourselves out of it. But you gotta ask for help. None of us have gotten here alone. I certainly haven't gotten here alone. I lean in deep on friendships. I have business networking things. I've got sort of my health crew, Yoga crew. I've got different groups of people for different needs. and it's really imperative that women lean all the way into that. And if you, I know. And I've talked a lot about female friendships on my podcast and other people's podcasts. If it's hard for you to do that. just have a friend who's really social like take you somewhere and tag along because I know not. Everyone's like, Yeah, I'm just gonna go find new people. I know, for a lot of women. It can be really hard, or you move to a new place. I talked to a lot of women. You're moving, you can't. It's hard to make new friends, doesn't even have to be in person. You can find so many great groups online we've met. We had the pleasure of meeting in person, but we didn't know each other for like a year. and there are women that I've met on this journey. I've never and I probably will never meet in person. But do not discount. You know a phone call, a zoom, chat, a Zoom coffee, and just finding the those different groups of women to support you on whatever journey you are you are on, and wherever you need the support. But the one thing you need to do is take responsibility. because if nothing changes, nothing changes. But I always like to look at the positive in that. That means I can change. I can change whatever situation I'm in, and it starts by taking one small step, having that courage to take one small step.

Pam Shipley: 21:40

And you're right. It it does take a lot of courage, and I always think like, if I didn't take a step today to take responsibility and nothing changed, how will I feel in in 3 years? How will I feel in 5 more years? 5 more years of feeling the way I do! What would that be like. and what a waste of time for us to not own our our journeys, and Allison and I used to talk about this a lot right owning our stories like we got here through strength and resilience and grit, and we need to own that power that we have. And you know, II say, that we have already survived our hardest day, our most difficult day we have survived. What does that say about us? And so we do have that power to change and to make steps to to take small steps. And you're right. It is radical responsibility. I think that's fantastic. And we have to own our journey and our next chapter. And I think that we are all very excited about our next chapters and and excited about helping other people get to that next chapter.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 22:55

A 100%. I had to say something fun. It's actually it's kind of I can laugh about it. But I always know I always do every couple Podcasters, so I'll do a little tough love because I needed it back in the day, like the podcast talking about taking radical responsibility, I get deep, like, I don't say anything to anyone and tell anything unless I've been through it. And I said, like I, I'm I'm a split my marriage because I wasn't taking responsibility. I was deep and dark every. It was everybody else's problem. It wasn't mine. It was where I lived. It was my husband. It was this. It was that I needed to live in this place, and my life would be better. And we I and almost rationally, I knew that was a bunch of bullshit, but it was a nice excuse, but I was also. I give again. I give myself compassion because I had to build myself back up. I wasn't in this great head space. I just want everyone to give themselves compassion. But the point of what I'm trying to say is that when I sent out a newsletter about radical responsibility and about that episode. I know it's going to be provocative. And I'm like, I knew people were gonna unsubscribe, because sometimes it's hard to hear the truth. But I'm not gonna shy away from saying the truth. because you know UN, you know, unsubscribe from the newsletter because it triggers you right? So a lot of things will trigger you. And it's just information you have to ask yourself, like with anything in life. Why are you being triggered by that person's business, or that person's playing pickle pickleball, or this woman just got funding for her company. And if you're triggered by that, it's just information like anything. It's just information. So I don't want us to shy cause shy away. And what you said is really important, and that we've already done the hard thing, and we all know we can do really hard things. All you have to think about is something that happened with a kid or a family member, and how you probably at this age or in midlife, went through fricking help. We've all been through hell, we've all right, and we know what we're made of, because we're leaving to tell the tale.

Allison Kenney: 24:50

and that's the best part of mid life is I can look at that and go. You know this is what wisdom is. Been able to get through the crap. All that messy shit, all that horrible stuff that was hard, really, really hard, and nobody's gonna take that away from you. But we got to where we're at, and we've learned, and we've grown from it. Now we get to take those lessons learned, and apply it to who we are, which we we were going through it, who had time to apply that stuff, who had time to reflect on nobody did. We were just in the midst of it. So now with midlife, we get to rebuild ourself. So, knowing what we know.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 25:35

yes.

Pam Shipley: 25:37

Jen, can you give us 3 takeaways, 3 steps to help us to get to a different place, to to own our journey, to, to shift and pivot. Can you give us just 3 takeaways that you think are the most important. Yeah, the first and foremost is and this isn't a step. This is just this is your bonus step. Everybody is just to know you're not too fucking old like this whole conversation.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 26:05

And really, what that means is, you're worthy. Okay. You are absolutely worthy of it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You don't have to have been, you know. XYZ. Career this, this, that, and the other like, we just have to just take away all that stuff that's been placed on us, and know that you're worthy of a beautiful life. It's not for somebody else. Right? You don't have to like. Oh, that's great for her, or maybe that's easy for her. No. you are all worthy, and you're not too fucking old like when I see women making moves. My mom is still working. She's 77. She just opened up a new real estate branch of a company in Hawaii like she could've just sailed into the retirement sunset. but she loves what she does, and she's like I got. I got people to help. She loves to mentor. And she still when I was home she's like Gosh! Every time you come home to visit she got really busy. She had all these appointments. I'm like. you're 77, I freaking love it right? So we're not too old. So let's just get that out of the way. Alright. Okay. So you get to go, do it. You can make these incremental changes. But the number one thing you've gotta do to start making any change is, take some time. You've got to make the time to take the time, because we're all on a hamster wheel, and like we talked about before we can all make excuses about. We don't have time. How we don't have time for this, this, that, and the other. I still have kids at home. You guys don't. But everyone's with this. Where with you know how late. And there's in and out, up and down. Yeah. And there's kids are living at home that should be not out, not. And like I have friends who are older than me, with younger kids at home. So we we ride this wave, and people with parents living with them because they're they're health problems. There's all this stuff, right? So the world's gonna take your time if you let it. And then you add work and everything else. So you've got to be fierce about your time, cause you won't be able to think unless you quiet out the world. So you've got to find the easiest. First thing to do is find at least 10 min a day to be by yourself in silence. Go outside and go on a walk. sit in a home office, close the door to your bedroom and think. We want you to listen to podcasts. But this is not the time to listen to a podcast, you just get quiet with yourself. And I understand that that's a scary thing cause. When you're quiet. what's gonna come up right. What's gonna come up and out. But you've gotta get comfortable with that discomfort. and there's and it's not all uncomfortable, because all of a sudden you might hear yourself go. God, I used to really like X. Why am I not doing that? Or you know I really love helping people. Maybe I'll explore coaching, or. you know. think I might want to like. Read. Start up my law practice again. Whatever the hell it is, whatever you're not going to know unless you start taking that time. And so the second piece to be, and I like to do 2 things at once. I like to be. I think we are like a good multitask, as women. So you know, put in a walk with that silence, because now we're moving our bodies, and I'm a firm believer that we, if we get put ourselves in different states, like, if you just go into your home office and sit and go. Okay, I'm thinking the good Lord is not gonna come down from the heavens and plant something on you. You know it's gonna take time. But when we're moving our bodies. Things get, you know, released and moved, and it's proven like we. Why, we have our best ideas in the shower, or like, I have so many ideas in Yoga, and they don't let me take my phone in Yoga class. So I like, pray that I can remember all the wonderful ideas that came up as I'm in downward dog. You have to take that time and just move, move things flow and be silent, and then increase your time. Get up to like 30 min a day, and then the second piece of that would then be start journaling about it. So now you've got your time. Things are flowing. Now take pen to paper, and it's gotta you gotta write with your hand. You can't type and do. You can do voice notes and things. But there's really, there's a thousand benefits. You can look it up of actually just writing. Actually, the physical, active writing. It does things to your brain to help cement things down, and your journals not judging. You start writing down what you want. It's okay. It doesn't matter what society says, what your husband says, what your partner says what your boss is saying, what your kids are saying. society, nothing. Start getting clear about what you want. It is not going to come right away. It is the hardest question. I actually have somebody coming up on my podcast. For big question is, what do you want? It's a hard question. It's a hard question, because it's like. so what do you want? It's it's above like, Oh, I want to pay my bills, or I want my kid to go to college? No, what do you really want? These are questions that we're often afraid to ask ourselves. And also we get to a point where we think we're too old. We know we're not too fucking old, but we think we're too old, and we're like, Well, I really wanna do that. But I lost my chance.

Allison Kenney: 30:59

I can't do that now until I can't go to school. I can't finish my college degree. I can't do this. I can't fix them too old, which is where Jen Marles comes in because

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 31:11

you're just gonna do it. And my, and I get very fired up about this, because you know a lot of what I do with clients to is mindset work. There's all the the business stuff, and I have to give a plug for all of us that you guys are in my Masterman, and you're fabulous making miracles happen. But, as you know. if you think you can't, you can't. If you think you can, you can. It's really that simple. And I'm not saying, just because you say you think you can, you can. That ain't gonna be hard. And there's not gonna be a lot of work behind that. But it's that mind. Set anybody who's done anything. And we've all you've all listening. You've all been somewhere where you really wanted something. You made it happen. We all have those stories before we started talking about visualization and manifestation. Those are very new words. We didn't know those words 20 years ago.

Allison Kenney: 31:55

but everybody, I guarantee you can think of something that you really wanted, that you made happen. If it was a job. If it was a trip, if it was having your family.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 32:03

If you want something bad enough, you make it happen. and so we don't want to be talked out about what we want. So that's why you've got to get really clear. And it's like, you know, dear Diary, write it all out the good, bad, and the ugly. and then the third. Next best thing to do. I have actually 12 tips on this, you guys, and I'll when we do the plugs for places to sign up. I have a free, downloadable, you guys and I also have a podcast episode dedicated to it. So you don't have to like seriously. Take notes right now. But the third thing is then to find groups of women to support you, because that's gonna help bring things into reality so and it can. It can even just be one friend. It can be like Pam and Alison getting together, hey? Like, you guys are both on the same page. We both wanna pivot. We're both in midlife. I'm gonna pretend, like you guys want to do something different. But you are in the mindset that you wanna go do something. You can be accountability partners doesn't have to cost anything.

Allison Kenney: 33:04

Yep.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 33:05

you can just say every Friday we're gonna meet at noon, and we're gonna keep each other in check and be like, you have that dream, Pam Alison, you have that dream. We are gonna hold each other accountable, and we're gonna talk about it. The next level is joining like networking groups, or, you know, joining master minds hiring business coaches or life coaches. Things like that where it is really hard sometimes, especially if you haven't been working for a while to all of a sudden get back up and get wrapped up cause there's there is kind of a process to go about things. but you will get so much farther faster by doing it with somebody else or another group of people.

Allison Kenney: 33:39

and they also give you the ideas that. Oh, I never thought about that. I do like that. I do want that in my life as well. But you have to get that from the outside.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 33:50

because what you're gonna find and not all of your friends, and what you're gonna find with your friend Network, and everything is, and they don't have to be your. They're not gonna be your biggest like supporters if they're not kind of where you are in your journey, like maybe they're in their mid life journey. But if it's a business or fitness journey, whatever it is like, insert whatever you want to accomplish. They're not gonna be that support you need. And we actually have to release the pressure on the people closest to us, because we can't expect people to do everything for us. So you need to seek out that support. It's like, if you wanna get healthy like, go join a new gym or a Yoga studio pilates. And I can tell you, I mean, I'm I've got the best, closest friends and great groups and all these different realms, because we all need that different support. And it's proven. It's also an indicator of happiness, longevity of being connected with people because we don't want to be alone. We're not meant to do life alone.

Allison Kenney: 34:45

and there are so many transitions with midlife people moving. And when our kids have gone cause for a lot of us. They do have kids. That was a big source of our social life for a really long time, and that changes honey like when those kids are gone. Even when they hit high school. You don't know what they're doing, who they're hanging out with different ways. Friendships are not broken, but they're not the same you don't have. There's nothing common anymore keeping you together.

Pam Shipley: 35:27

You're right. That makes sense. You're right. The common thread that holds you together is about what it is that you are looking for and the changes that you want to make. So a lot of people have that

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 35:42

if you want to start looking at something on the side. And you're working full time. I worked a lot of these women, the Co. Your colleagues at your current job aren't getting your support system because you're trying to do something else. So then you need to go throw yourself in with like, even if it's like in a group that's affiliated with sort of the the realm of what you're going into, or just an entrepreneurial group or networking groups, women groups with leadership groups. You've got to find those different. those different areas like I am in so many groups. And it's the best money I will spend because they help you be better do better. And when you I like to say one day or beyonce the next day, we feel like we're crazy. That's mid life. You're like, God. I'm fabulous today. The other day you look in the mirror and you're like, Oh, oh, my God! And it could be everything like your kid. I had my own tantrum that II put myself in a timeout because my kids were pushing me so much and like I don't walk out of the house right now, I'm gonna say things I might not be able to come back from. So it all happens, hormones and everything into it. But when you're in these groups. Those women can say back to you on the day that you're literally crying in your Cheerios like it's a day. This is not your whole life like you're fabulous. You got this. You're right on time like what you got it.

Allison Kenney: 36:59

And we're here to reflect back to you. So those midlife relationships are so imperative and so important. So really, those are the top 3 things to get started.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 37:09

Get quiet with yourself. Start journaling, and find some women to support you. There's more than that. But those are the the 3 top ones to get started

Allison Kenney: 37:20

and take advice from women who are on the journey. And Yup

Pam Shipley: 37:26

people like Jen Marles, who you can follow on her podcast and listen to great wisdom, great information, and we so value and appreciate you, sharing some of that with us today.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 37:40

Oh, I'm happy to be here. And and just on one note, too, is when when women are out there trying to think about what's next. There's multiple. There's multiple phases of this journey and podcasts. And this is why I started one, because this is where I got all my information. And it was just inputting like I was taking. I was spending a lot of time by myself, but I was inputting information. It's free and it's fabulous and women can multitask. We're driving people around. We're cleaning. I'm not, I guess, but I actually II actually get therapy out of cleaning. I it's

Pam Shipley: 38:12

whatever I called II actually called a good friend the other day, and for 2 h, and this hysterical we had cleaning people. I'm like, I'm just not doing it anymore. I'm like, let's just call each other every other Sunday and talk for 2 h and clean our houses.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 38:28

But we like to multitask so what you can do is, you know, listen to all different kinds of podcasts. And obviously listen to this, podcast. All the time and then mine. I've got over 125 episodes. I've got women business leaders on there. So my mission is to have amazing information shoved out at all of you midlife women. So you can make the changes you want to make. And it's free.

Allison Kenney: 38:49

Yeah. And you, your podcast awakened me. Yours was one of my first, that I listened to that awakened me to that. Wow! There's other women that are feeling like I do, because I did feel all alone. I felt really, really alone. And so now you've empowered us through your master class. Which was been amazing, and the friendships that we've built and the the confidence that we've built is priceless. and there's so many things that you have been able to bring to the table in 2 just some 2 years. Right? You've been doing this for 2 years. Yeah.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 39:27

wow with the podcast and so it's interesting. You're talking about pivoting. And II just thought about this. And I wanna leave this with with your listeners, too, is that you know I did pr marketing for 25 years, and what's interesting is you don't have to burn everything down. I kind of burned it down, and then, you know, I was. I was still consulting in the background as I was putting all this together. But what I've realized, too, it it's pure and marketing, speaking training. It's it's it's my strong suit. I've done it. I'm wired to help, and that's how I've helped you and my mastermind is that I so I'm didn't completely burn it down and walk away. I took the best pieces of what I liked about what I used to do, married with, and I married it with this new passion of who exactly I want to serve. And so then it turned into this like. and it's an exercise you all can go through. It's like, right down in one column, if you're confused like, write down like what you're really good at stuff that you can do in your sleep. You you have been around the block. You probably had a couple of careers. Write all that down and then write down what you're passionate about and what you like to do. and then kind of cross, you know, draw the lines between. Okay, well, I love to talk, I love to give people advice. I love. Podcast. I love listening to podcasts. So that's a freaking no brainer, let's do podcast. And that great tool it is. It's just it. Just it's like, so simple. And it's like, Okay, cause then things pop up. You're like, well, of course, like. I love to plan events right? I have been doing. I've been the party planner my whole life, much to the chagrin of my parents. When I decided that I was the social chairman of my life at like age 13. But that's been a through line. So is it a surprise that I bring women together, and that I love to do events and bring women together. No cause. That's strength and a passion, and I know I'm good at it, and I love connecting people so everybody listening. You should all just do it, even if you're entrenched in something right now. Just do that little exercise, and then something new might pop up

Pam Shipley: 41:18

best of all the stuff and put it. You don't have to be like I was an accountant. I'm never doing that again. There might be pieces of accounting that you still wanna do. It's hard to know what's next, and it's hard to figure out what does come next. And so I love that tool that says, just talk about what you like, talk about what interests you. Write down all of those things, and figure out how to connect them, and I think that's that's a great tip to to leave us on, and

Allison Kenney: 41:50

so valued so much great stuff, but so much great stuff so much we could talk for marvel, for everything, for all of the gifts that you are bestowing on all upon all of. And don't forget to follow Jen. We are not too fucking old.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 42:18

and so the tagline is. You're not too fucking old so, but it's that's the you know. The strength of the message on all major podcast platforms, and you can all find me at Jen marbles, Mr. Rp. Les all over social media and I love. I love to play on Instagram and everywhere. And.

Pam Shipley: 42:35

DM, me, I love talking to people. I love helping people, and you'll notice that Jen is always in pink. She's got some pink somewhere around her that is her her trademark, and that was Barbie. Barbie copied me because you were the you were the groundbreer

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 42:54

I needed to like, get everyone's attention that you're not too fucking old, not a 23 year old. It's a 53 year old going out there. Thank you, guys, for all that you're doing and showing up and having that courage because every woman who steps up and out gives another woman courage to do the same thing.

Pam Shipley: 43:13

We're doing this all together, and it's this beautiful world. So come on and join all of us. List all you listeners just join us and join the big midlife party and we have on. We are more than menopause under the show notes. We'll have some of these goodies that

Allison Kenney: 43:31

Jen has shared with us, so you can click there, and they'll take you straight to her site as well.

Pam Shipley: 43:38

and we'll see you guys next week.

Allison Kenney: 43:40

Thanks.

Jen Marples/Champion of Midlife Women/Podcaster/Speaker/Coach: 43:41

Thank you. Bye.

Allison Kenney: 43:44

Alright. Stop.